Finding Tofino – A Memoir by Teanna Clark

Finding Tofino – A Memoir about True Soul Searching

By Teanna Clark

 

If you are the person to get lost in the mind of another, wanting to look into the window of the life of someone else.. welcome. Here I write to you a memoir that showcases the process of true soul searching, and ultimate healing. For the process of this memoir was slow and painful, it brings me comfort knowing it is the building blocks for someone else’s healing journey.

 

Sitting in my 2006 rusting Jeep Commander, here I was on a miserable snow day in Calgary ( as you may have heard our snow days suck ass! ) blowing my nose into my melted Skor Mcflurry… yeah, not one of my good days. It is now year 3 in my “gap YEAR” and I feel like I’m back in high school. I felt like I was drowning in a whirlpool of global pandemic chaos.

Sitting in my sadness, I could hear the whispers of the mountains calling me. I could feel the ocean waters baptizing my skin. I knew I was being called away by the mother herself.

So I packed my bags.

 

“For I reconciled with myself, and have never loved harder. For I reconciled with God, and have never listened better. For I reconciled with Mother Gaia in the magical rainforests of Tofino.”

This is not a post about my travel tips and hacks when visiting Tofino, if you’d like ton read about that check out my blog about it here _____

This post is me peeling back all my layers and being completely vulnerable to you. I have been soul searching since I was an 8-year old girl, life has shown me little mercy in my lifetime and therefore I mustn’t stand still. I have learned the ways of the tide here in Tofino, I can now speak with the trees.

Tofino holds my heart with tender hands, for this hippie town has been my mentor.

My first time going to Tofino was right after a break up, I went alone and was sitting pretty heavy in my thoughts and feelings. I had never felt so lost, I was yearning for direction and was stuck with the fact that I was a big girl now and had to deal with this life on my own.

No matter what hardships God throws at me, I find it admirable to chase after the humour in things. So I said “F*ck It I’m renting a convertible”. 

It was early March and the town of Tofino was just starting to wake up from the quiet Canadian winter. The ocean was clear as ice, and the air drifted with the hello’s of the spring mountains. If you’ve ever surfed in Tofino, you know the kind of feeling I’m talking about. It’s a hazey high with a salty aftertaste, it’s the kiss of a lifetime.

The beaches here are undeniably the best in the country.

I think the reason why people love Tofino is because it’s this magical realm of ocean, mountain and rainforest and it really is a safe haven for a vulnerable soul. 

I came looking for God, but in the end He was the one who had found me. He found me in the window pane of my vintage motel room.

God found me sipping a coffee on the porch, and he sat with me. He later found me sitting on the beach, and he danced with me. He started showing up wherever I looked.

My spirit guides had accompanied me on this trip as well, they travelled into the rainforests with me and shared with me their secrets. Their secrets of how they’ve been right by my side this entire time. Holding my hand, as a little girl on the playground, and as a warrior goddess doing yoga on Cox Bay Beach. No matter how alone I was feeling, they were supporting me through my awakening.

Whenever I get thoughts of doubt, fear or jealousy I quickly forgive myself for thinking these thoughts. I watch the thoughts pass through my mind, playing back like a movie and letting them go as quickly as they arrived. Forgiveness is the ultimate power shield that protects us against our enemies ( our biggest enemy can be ourself ).

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.

Also, trust the timing in your life. Many of us go through life trying to hold the ropes and lead the circus, but it is when we learn to let go of our need for control that we start to truly live. Once we place our life in the hands of the universe, and allow the universe to guide us on our divine path we will graduate into a higher way of being.